IT’S 2024

Read my latest newsletter here. I am happy to share the exciting news about my upcoming album launches!

Click on the link: Luna Paige Newsletter March 2024

 

This year is an exciting one for me.

I am releasing two new albums – one Afrikaans and one English.

I am re-releasing all of my previously recorded music online. When? 5 April 2024. Follow me on my various platforms to stay up to date with news about the launch – where and who will be joining me on stage!

I will be travelling through parts of Europe – sharing videos of and writings about my experiences there.

I am planning on exploring the world of art within the social impact sphere.

I plan on making music wherever I go.

I plan on writing new songs whenever inspiration takes hold of me.

I plan on ticking a couple of things off my bucket list, so I can come back to South Africa rejuvenated, inspired and full of great ideas to implement upon my return.

Follow me on your preferred online platform: Connect with me

May your new year be filled with joy. May you be inspired to courageously pursue your aspirations. 2024 is the year to do so!

Lots of love

Luna

 

2023 BLOGS

JULY 2023

 

It’s been a year since I’ve really paid attention to this site. After a bit of a hiatus from actively working in the SA music industry I am happpy to say I am back and excited about the upcoming prospects for 2023 and 2024.

Sometimes we need to take a step back to get some perspective, recharge our creative batteries, consider what direction we are heading in and whether we are purposefully moving in that direction or just going with the flow. I decided to change route, to take some chances and do something different for a change. More about that soon.

For now I would like to let everyone know that I am back in the gigging saddle and happy to say that I have 1 show in July, 2 in August, 5 in September and a brand new show making its debut at the annual Woordfees which is taking place in October 2023.

Please check out my gig page for updates on that. In September and November I will be performing in Gauteng  and bringing my new songs to fans in the North too. It includes performances in Potchefstroom. So be sure to tell your friends about that.

I will also be recording the new material over the next 6 months, ready to release and promote by early January before my great adventure starts!!! Watch this space.

To match this beautiful image of the butterfly becoming, feel free to have a listen to my tune Butterfly here: Listen.

(I was only 25 when I released that song, not knowing how much ‘becoming’ was still to happen)….

Lots of love,

Luna Paige.

JULY 2022

They are out there

I am not always sure who and how many people read these blogs. So, if you are reading this, please do drop me a message. I would love to hear from you.

I can’t believe we’re in the 7th month of the year. There is so much going on, time is going so fast, and I must confess, I am going through so many things and thoughts all at once, while juggling so many balls, wearing so many hats, eating, working, sleeping and then doing it all over again.

The last time I wrote something on my site was in May. Around the time of Freedom Day. I remember I contemplated on what it means to be free, and questioned the notion of Freedom a bit. I remember two of my friends going through a bit of the same. In a way (unfortunately), I guess I am still pondering on it – on what it really means to live, to be alive, to live life to the fullest – and how we navigate our dreams and desires in a world that is run by money, how we find balance between what we want and what we need, between finding joy within the rat race – remembering who we are, what it is that really makes us tick, what makes us happy, what it means to really be at peace with your life, at peace with yourself – that is if you actually have the time to stop and think about it. Maybe that’s why some people prefer not to stop. If you do, it can be quite the downer when you realise you are seriously off-track. Sometimes it is better not to think.

In reaction to that, I can’t help reverting back to those clichéd lines – you are what you do, you do what you think (is that how it goes)? So, if you don’t think, what is it that you’ll do exactly? Probably – what everyone else wants you to. I don’t know! All I know is that time goes by fast – and not being present when it comes to you, can cost you many years and many dreams. And what is a dream really? I think it is a compass, a guide, a memo to self of your essence, of who it is you can be, want to be, desire. Yes, dreams often change through life – hopefully because we change. It’s when we are so engulfed in our own absence that we neglect our dreams, shift them aside, thinking they’ll be patient. That they’ll wait. They are patient, indeed. But it is we that are fickle. Out of sight, out of mind, right? Until one day we realise the dream has died. And we are suddenly overcome with an unexpected, intense sense of loss. We are responsible for our dreams as we are responsible for our loved ones. They need us as much as we need them to survive. It is a reciprocal relationship. We feed off each other. We create momentum together. It is us and dreams that make what we call a good life – what really makes the world go round. Question is, are you realizing someone else’s dream, or your own?

So, what do you do when you constantly feel as if your dreams are being put on hold in the name of survival, doing what is expected of you, or fitting into the mold? How do you take a risk without being stupid? Because, let’s face it, people only like risk takers who succeed. If you don’t succeed, you are guaranteed to be called one of many things… naïve, ignorant, reckless, unrealistic, selfish, a dreamer. Haha! Everything but being a dreamer, right?! The world we live in and all its rules on what dreams should look like – have made us afraid. Why? Because, the price is high. What we stand to lose if we fail, is a lot. I spoke to someone the other day about this…success is measured in money. Money is security. Without money you are kicked to the curb, without home, without food, without respect. You might even risk losing love. That is a real difficult place to build any future dreams on. It’s a launching pad without bounce. Once you’re on the curb, it’s hard to find your way inside again. That’s why most of us rather choose to keep our heads down (in the name of being reasonable) and do what everyone else is doing to keep the ever-eluding dream alive.

I find myself looking for examples of people who are doing the exact opposite – the people who are throwing calculated caution to the wind – and let it be known – even if it is calculated – the fear stays real because the risk stays real! They are out there! These people. And they are living happily. I find myself looking for inspiration from these dreamers. I am attracted to them because they are brave, they understand that time is something we have no control over, it does not belong to us, it is borrowed. This place we were born into is a treasure chest filled with incredible experiences if only we would open our eyes to them. Allow them. It is filled with everything that will make us feel as alive (as we actually are) – if only we could stop sheltering ourselves from it. Closing ourselves in. Building our walls, erecting our fences, making and abiding by senseless and incapacitating rules.

What am I saying? I don’t have a point. Or a conclusion. Or some bold announcement at the end of this ranting. All I still have is a major question mark. Lingering. Hovering. Accompanying me every single day.

Will I take responsibility for the dreamer in me?

I’ll watch this space.

Love,
Luna

MAY 2022

Freedom

With the celebration of the recent Freedom Day in South Africa and after a conversation with one of my friends- I am pondering on what Freedom really means. In a South African context, I can’t help but think about money as a key that opens the door to a path of freedom (or rather – a path of perceived freedom).

With high unemployment rates and corruption impacting our country’s economy there are way too many people living under the breadline – captured in a hopeless cycle of poverty. Freedom is a very relative term for these people. I can wholeheartedly understand why so many citizens of this country struggle to buy into celebratory days such as Freedom Day – when their lives and the lives of their families remain without promise. On a global scale, when looking at the Twitter battle and debates about the freedom of speech of the masses – I ponder on how free we really are when we’ve come to believe that we can’t live or do business without platforms such as Twitter. I can’t help but question how loaded with integrity these platforms really are when it allows people to express their opinions – without liability for its consequences.

Life doesn’t really work like that, does it? Doing the right thing has never only been right. Good and bad always walk hand in hand. How goes the saying? The road to hell is paved with good intentions. I look at the situation in Ukraine. How they hold onto hope in their relentless fight for freedom. A country invaded, plundered, and destroyed by its neighbour – the loss of belongings, home, family and right to live a life of your choosing in a place you were born to live in. And that while the world gasps in exasperation for a couple of weeks to then move on with their day-to-day lives blissfully.

Another friend recently mentioned we do not really have the freedom of choice. That all we are and do is predetermined by genes and circumstance. That is a whole can of worms on its own. So, what do we do when we really start thinking about these things, become anxious and overwhelmed with a sense of helplessness? Maybe that is why most people decide not to think about things at all. How do we relieve ourselves of the harsh realities of freedom or the lack thereof in our lives? I don’t know. I wish I did. Maybe the answer lies in hope. The continuous striving towards freedom although we know its only a dream.

Perhaps it keeps us on some sort of path worth taking. Perhaps it helps us to order our thoughts in such a way that we stay positive, conscious of what it is that makes us happy, content, and so too the people around us. Perhaps it is what nudges us to speak up when we see someone treated in a way, we ourselves would hate to be treated. Perhaps it inspires us to free our minds. In the end of the day – that is all we really have some sort of control over. The way we think and subsequently move through and within our small communities. If we are present, aware, and remember to listen – we might find that we find small moments of freedom (even bliss) within our engagement with each other.

Love,
Luna

MARCH & APRIL 2022

In times of chaos all we can do is breathe.  With the pandemic coming to a slow end and people slowly getting used to getting back to their usual ways – the world has been shocked by the recent events involving Ukraine and Russia. Just as I was starting to feel positive about life and its prospects again. One stands in awe of how quickly things can go from bad to worse in the blink of an eye. We cope by switching off – our phones, our TV’s, the radio, our minds. In order to cope and be productive in our daily lives we often feel as if we have to push the reality of what’s happening on the other side of the world to the back of our minds.

It is too scary to be reminded that our (even at times messy existence) is as brittle as the situation in Europe at the moment. So what do we do amidst all of this chaos? Breathe? Look at what we have and be grateful for it? Allow ourselves to appreciate the beauty in our lives, and to acknowledge how the bad things make us stronger, teach us about resilience and show us what is most important in life. The two songs in my new Season “Calm after the storm”, are about all of this. Perhaps it will carry you through your next storm, remind you to stay anchored in appreciation, and to stop and breathe every once in a while.

Love,
Luna

JANUARY & FEBRUARY 2022

I had so much fun in December, that January surprised me with a quick and eventful start. Needless to say, I neglected to post something on my website at the beginning of January. So here we are, at the verge of the second month of the year.

If there is one thing the last 2 years have shown me, it is that we can’t always control the way things go in our lives – even if we have a plan A, B and C. Sometimes circumstances lead you down a path unexpected. What I did decide is to stop resisting the direction life pushes me in, to go with it – but to always actively observe what opportunities the new pathway opens up – and finally – to walk down that pathway with absolute intent. I am ready to adapt, revisit, adapt again, embrace, dedicate, and see what happens. Always with a tad of gratitude at the fact that there are new doors to open if one is open to possibility beyond one’s own idea of what it should look like. Bring on 2022. I hope for all of us that it is full of positive outcomes – even if it is amidst a sea of uncertainty at first. Happy new year – no – that feels a bit empty. I wish for all – the energy and perseverance to approach and handle the new year with strength and agility. And openness to the little joys, accomplishments and surprises along the way!

I started a full-time job in January and used my spare time to make sure I have all my ducks in a row (music-wise) for 2022. I’m excited to say that I am super-charged to get a lot of new music out there and do some enjoyable gigs with musicians I love to play with. My musical year kicks off on the 1st of February and is followed by two other gigs I hope those of you in the Western Cape will come and support. I am also recording my second season of music in February. Last year I released Season 1 by the name of “Behold, my Heart”. After recording, mixing, mastering and making some visuals for the new releases, I plan to launch at the end of March. This will coincide with a mini-tour along the Garden Route and my first visit of the year to Gauteng. Do keep an eye out for the gig and launch details on my website and social media pages.

But first – if you live in and around Cape Town – this is for you:

“Paige and long-time colleague Schalk Joubert will be performing together on Tuesday 1 February at Die Boer (Durbanville). Thereafter she will be performing with bassist Schalk van der Merwe at the Bôrdienghuis (Wellington) on Saturday the 5th of February. On Saturday the 12th of February Luna will be joined by guitarist Basson Laubscher, drummer Jonno Sweetman, bassist Schalk Joubert and guest artist Jannie Hanepoot van Tonder on trombone. Luna brings this exemplary group of musicians together for a special Valentine’s Day-time concert at the picturesque Muratie Wine Estate in Stellenbosch”.

Hope to see you there!

Luna

DECEMBER 2021

TO SING IT OR NOT TO SING IT

Every now and then there is a little debate among some about whether musicians should dabble in making socio-political statements in their music. I even at some stage found myself ridiculously pondering on this question too. This was when certain right-wing artists in South Africa frenetically started voicing their political opinions to their fans and all who happened to be at the receiving end of their rantings. But now that I think of it – besides the fact that I did not identify with their views, it was the way in which they did it, that put me off. They started making video posts and verbal statements on platforms that were frequented by their fans because they appreciate these artists’ music. They abused these platforms to act as amateur politicians instead of acting as musicians – the real reason their fans follow them on these platforms.

Using your art to mirror the world or express some feeling, observation or personal experience is never wrong. That is what artists and writers are supposed to do. Unless you are an entertainer who focuses on using your talent to create relief or a momentary break from reality. There is an important place for artists like these in our society too. But, if you are someone who writes about life and the human experience and you are living in turbulent times, which if we are to be honest, is always around the corner – you would not be an artist if you did not write about the times you live in and your experience of it. One can only think of songwriters like Bob Dylan, Neil Young, Bruce Springsteen, U2 (once again – when Bono performs music making political statements it is much more preferred to as when he uses the stage at his concerts to deliver long, political speeches – or at least that was my feeling when I attended U2’s concert in the Cape Town stadium). I think of Joni Mitchell who wrote about racial discrimination and love over the colour lines; Tori Amos – who wrote about sexual oppression and rape; Tracy Chapman – who dedicated albums to addressing social issues such as inequality, poverty and domestic abuse. Why am I even writing about this? It does seem to be a no-brainer, right?

Perhaps because I, for the first time really decided to write about serious topics. While working with a diverse group of musicians and writers in the music theatre production, Smeltkroes, I explored and worked with their material about their heritage, their frustrations, and their views on socio-political issues in our country and their experience of it. I was inspired to delve into my own frustrations and views about things that also impact me. I acknowledged to myself that we are in particularly turbulent times and that I find it difficult to write my usual songs about love and heartache. My heart is ok, but it is under pressure. I am worried and concerned about so many things in society – as I am sure many others are too.

Recently I wrote two songs. One about the frustrations of living life as middle-class citizen. Maybe it’s even about the skewered perception of those of us who operate in the middle-class world – the way we fail to understand or even prefer to ignore things as to soldier on and make ends meet in a capitalist environment full of dogs and underdogs, sharks, and bait. The other song is about feminism – the way in which it has been labelled as something it is not, the way it has become a swearword – even to many enlightened and liberated women. It is about the fact that feminism is still relevant in society. The mere fact that it evokes such negative reaction, should be evidence enough. I even suggest in my song that there are valuable lessons to be learnt from the feminist journey through history – should society want to address other problems involving oppression and the marginalization of certain groups of people. I called the song ‘Circle of witches’ – playing on the notion of women being labelled ‘witch’ in the not-so-long-ago-past when all they really were, were independent, knowledgeable about plants and medicine, sexually free, and more often than none – single.

The song has been well-received at my shows and I planned to record and release it as part of my second music season by the name of “With these eyes I feel”. But then came a show in Cape Town. An audience member pounced on me after the show. He was furious, resentful, and even patronising. Telling me that I should indeed stick to non-social issues. He was offended by the fact that I suggested men from the past (never mind the present) oppressed women. He claimed I insulted his ancestors and his gender – who according to him never engaged in such activities. He mentioned that I lost him at that song, and never won him back.

I couldn’t help but think that should I have met this man at a dinner party, and someone were to open the feminist can of worms – he and I would most probably become engaged in a heated debate. I probably would have left that dinner party thinking, I am glad I do not have to see this man again. But, due to the fact that I am an artist who has come to believe that I am supposed to acquire and please fans, not lose them – he had some strange hold om my reaction or lack thereof. It was confusing. I was unprepared and unable to respond as I would have at a dinner party. It was clear that I triggered something in this man, and I realised that if I am to write and perform songs about issues such as these, I must be willing to accept others’ reactions and their views on these issues. For a split moment I felt insecure, I felt I should perhaps consider not performing this song again, not recording it and not ever releasing it. Isn’t that ridiculous? How would I then be honouring myself, my experience as a woman, my gender and all the women who have been paving the way for younger generations of females to have an equal seat at the table, more importantly – to have a voice?

So, instead I decided to have my facts ready – should a situation like this arise again. I am open to rational conversation. None of us like to admit that our ancestors did bad things. Hell, we don’t even like to admit it when we ourselves, do bad things. It is however comforting to know that people are not void of goodness because they did bad. But if we fail to acknowledge history, how on earth can we ever understand each other today, and try and build a better tomorrow? I listed a few words for myself – things I might remember next time…

Slavery
Voting rights
Salary discrepancies
Gender representation in management positions
Gender-based violence
Child marriage
Land ownership
Poverty discrepancies
Afghanistan

Considering the above, I will be recording my song. I will sing it out loud. I will release it in March 2022. I will be willing to engage in conversation about it. And if, for some odd reason the conversation goes south – I am happy to leave my show and feel relief that I will never have to see that audience member, again.

CIRCLE OF WITCHES

One can read novels about times past
Jane Austen – about those privileged men
We live in a time where everybody knows
Just how far we have come

But some men say they’re tired of those
Bra burning bitches
Some men say the tables have turned
Being male is like being burned at the stake

By those circle of witches
By those whining bitches

I’ve been around for a couple of decades
Become accustomed to looking over my shoulder
I’ve been called many kinds of names
Every decade comes with its own crown

Some people ask, “where is your man today?”
“I’m going solo”, they go “Oh Shame”
“I’m OK I say, I don’t really need a man”
Their eyes go beady, I must be one of the bitches’ clan

I feel them move away
When you swim upstream there’s always a price to pay

But I’m a lover, I’m a friend
I am strong, I am resilient
I am a fighter and I’ll call it out
When you do wrong against my sisters

When you do wrong
I am a lover
I’m a friend
Being me doesn’t mean your end
I am small
But part of a greater whole
You’ll do well
With your own
Circle of witches

You’ll do well
I said you’ll do well
With your own circle of witches

Luna

NOVEMBER 2021

And here we are… in the 11^th month of the year. It’s almost Christmas! Enough to give one a little panic attack. Am I the only one that feels as if years have passed in this one year, all in a blink of an eye? It was long and it was short. Nothing happened, yet everything happened. It was not life-altering although I feel like a totally different person.

It was the month in which we got to vote – where we once again put our faith in some party many of us know very little about. How many of us head to the voting station and make our mark based solely on some indefinite emotionally made decision? One we don’t really want to think about. More just a type of “let me just trust my gut” kind of mark, you know? I hope fewer than more. Yet I doubt it (and I count myself in the comfortably ignorant mix).

The other day someone phoned me on a Sunday. Supposedly, it was a social call, but I soon came to realise it was a distress call – one filled with anxiety and anger – at life, the decisions we make, their consequences and then mostly at circumstances in the world and our country that makes it so hard to get back on our feet, recover, recuperate, and worse…hope for a better tomorrow. And what is life without hope, really? I did not know what to say. All I could do was try and make a joke or two. Try and make that person feel better…even just for a moment.

After the conversation I almost found myself in that same pit of hopelessness. Luckily for me, earlier that day I bought a book by the name of “The Bookseller of Florence”. Little did I know that this book would become a page turning eye opener making me feel better about the continuous weirdness of this life and its people. Knowing that we as a human race never really, fundamentally change, no matter how advanced and developed we think we are – is comforting. It takes away the anxiety of the day – of thinking that we, in these times, somehow have it harder than the ones before us. It’s a load of bull.

Some (and they are a very learned some) argue that the human race is at its personal best now (I know it is hard to believe – when we look at the world). As I read about the people of Europe in the 1100’s, the 1400’s in this book – some of who even lived in the year 32AD – goodness, I see my friends, I see my president, I see a couple of my family members – I see power hungry assholes only thinking of their own personal advancement – people using their place of power to their and their family’s advantage, I see people doing bad things while doing good things, I see that power is not only utilized to do bad, but also to do good. That power, good and bad are so interwoven that it is hard to discern which is which. I see that doing good – the real far-reaching and impactful kind of good – often relies on power. I see that power has its relentless dance with the good ones in its glow. And it is tireless, it has been dancing for centuries. It is fit. Even the good ones can’t always keep up with it.

I see that yes – we are not as brutal as we used to be, but we are the same. We are the same because we still listen to and draw from the past. We can not ignore that we are built on the past. No matter how hard we try and move away from it – we are constantly comparing the past, the present and the future with each other. And because the past is good and bad, it is hard to discard the bad without the good. Just as it is hard to embrace the future when we see the bad in it, even though we know, right alongside the bad, is always also something good.

The book makes me feel better. It gives me hope. It shows me that as long as there are those living and striving towards the advancement of the human race, we will be ok – even if they sometimes wander off the noble path. Nothing is ever that easy. Life never was that easy. Nor is it ever going to be easy. Life was never a guarantee of anything. We are in a loop. And the fact that we are still around, means we must be doing something right. We have not totally screwed things up.

I choose to keep reading. To explore the wondrous world of books and the lives of the people who wrote them. The ones who make it their mission to hunt knowledge, savour it, protect it, share it, and utilize it for the advancement of humankind – for opening minds, hearts, breeding people who are hungry to understand. For understanding is hope – even more so, the want to understand – is deep-rooted hope – and that is what we should never lose sight of.

Lots of Love
Luna

ART IS LIFE AND NOBODY SAID LIFE IS GOING TO BE EASY

During September my world was literally split in two. I worked on the music theatre production Smeltkroes for Woordfees TV and I was working on a wonderfully inspiring project at Paul Roos Gymnasium where I now work. I felt overworked at times, but also grateful that I had the opportunity to work on a music project again. I also realised that the “See and Be Seen” outreach project at Paul Roos I was working on slots perfectly into my nature, my interests and my experience as a social worker, coordinator and person that understands the value of the arts in society. I realised that I am super lucky to be able to juggle jobs, to say that I am stressed about work in a time when so many in my industry do not have any work to talk about. Not to say that the work necessarily relieves me entirely from the impact the pandemic has had on my finances. But knowing you are earning something, and that you have something meaningful to do, means the world.

I know so many of my friends and colleagues in the freelance and entertainment industries who had to make serious life changes during this time – many only really starting to feel the financial impact of this pandemic in 2021. People had to relocate, move in with their parents, find new jobs and re-explore their own ideas about themselves. I was thinking about how what you do for a living impacts your identity and the way you view yourself in relation to those around you. I know that once you are not able to do what it is you do – you by default start questioning your identity, your role, importance and place in your immediate family, your circle of friends, your community and even further, society. Artists have always battled to find their well-deserved and respected spot in all these respective communities, and it has never been easy. Very few people understand how artists are willing to sacrifice material gain and subsequent lifestyles all in the name of making art, music, theatre and the likes. That is why artists’ identities are very often almost singularly built around or upon their craft.

Artists must completely believe in what they do to be able to withstand all the questions, the doubt and at times judgement of others. Ever heard the questions, “So what is your real job?” or “So what do you do for money”? If you’re an artist, you are familiar with these condescending questions. And if you don’t make a lot of money, the assumption is always that you are not good at what you do. That you are somehow lacking in talent, business acumen etc. Why? Because the world and its people measure each other by money. The better you get at what you do, the more money you get paid, right? It does not always work like this in the world of art. Not necessarily.

So yes, why do we do it? Why does one become an artist? Here where I am sitting today, I am watching a group of 30 high-school learners participating in a visual art workshop, and I understand why. While watching these learners make their art works, I am witnessing calmness, inquisitiveness, openness to possibility, escapism, an exploration of and challenging of aesthetics, connection with others and most importantly self-exploration and the expression thereof. Being an artist is an outlook on and a way of life, a way of coping with life and a way of communicating. Once you have discovered the power of art it is hard to deny it ever again.

I want to tell all my friends and colleagues who are struggling with this time and all the necessary deviations to survive that we are resilient. We have years of experience in adapting, believing, persevering, challenging and being true to ourselves. In two years’ time we are going to look back and be amazed at how strong and resilient we are and how this time has forced us to discover hidden strengths and talents. We might even be amazed at how important and valuable our creative natures can be in the other disciplines we are forced to explore. The world craves creativity – especially now. The digital era has placed a huge emphasis on creativity inside the corporate world and there is so much scope for us to make ourselves of meaning within non-typical spaces.

Change is never easy. And transitional phases are the worst. They test our characters, our courage, our relationships – to name but a few. But change almost always resolves itself into something positive if it doesn’t kill us.

With three months left of this tiresome and difficult year – I am still adapting to change. I am still giving myself regular pep talks and find myself doing the same for others in my position. One thing I am not doing … is doubting myself or being angry at anything or anyone. There is no time for that. 2022 is around the corner and I am ready to see how change has resolved into something positive and probably unexpected. Embracing the unknown is part of the adventure. It has always been! Bring on 2022. The music? It will always find its way to me. Like water always settles where it wants and needs to – no matter how many obstacles are in its way.

Let us take on these last three months with chutzpah and hope. If you would like to check out Smeltkroes – be sure to tune in on Sunday afternoon 10 October at 15:45 on Channel 150 on DSTV!

View behind-the-scenes-footage below and Read more about the show here.

Lots of Love
Luna

LIFE AS IMPROVISATION

I always shy away from improv when playing with my fellow musicians. I get into a total panic if that moment arrives. I guess I’m afraid I will make a mistake or play something shitty, and that it will somehow reveal that I don’t have a clue what I’m doing. You know that “imposter syndrome”, the new affliction every second person nowadays claims to have. My friend Schalk Joubert once said to me that songwriting is improvising and that I do it every day. I saw his point but did mention that songwriting is something I do in the privacy of my own company. 😉

When I started enjoying jazz, exposed myself to jazz musicians and subsequently started sharing the stage with them, I got to understand how the safety net of improv works. There is a basic structure, a progression, a melody, a rhythm – which frames your improvisational ideas. You can push and pull and move freely within this structure, play with, deviate from, and move back to the melody and groove however you want. You use your knowledge of and experience in theory to preempt or imagine what the notes you are going to play will sound like. You listen to all the players around you and respond to them responding to you. You converse. Sometimes a mistake can add a surprise element to the music and open a new pathway to a different beautiful melodic idea. Sometimes it is clear the mistake is a mistake. But you know there is always the next note – which allows you to swiftly recover and get back in the groove.

I realise life is like that. It is daunting. It requires bravery. One needs to rely on ones’ knowledge of and experience in the past to navigate the way forward. Not in any way to replicate or regurgitate the familiar, but to be able to dare with confidence. Improv in music is all about confidence. If you don’t have it, you won’t succeed.  You must believe in every note that you execute. You must believe in what you have come to know until that exact moment in your life. You must trust yourself and be ok with the possibility of error. You must be ready to recover without flinching. Sound familiar?

Perhaps, if we think of life as a series of attempts to execute our plans. Plans built on dreams, hopes, goals, at times necessity and often a mere need to survive. Things happen. The unforeseen happens. Variables come into play, and we often need to adapt or worse get spiraled into a series of events, sometimes even feeling we have no control, that we are deviating from our goal. Sometimes we even start questioning our dreams and our capabilities in achieving them.

It’s all rooted in fear. Fear of failure. Fear of rejection. Fear of being seen to be all but perfect. These are the things that hinder us from tackling the bull by the horns, from bravely improvising our way through a fabulous life.

I see the variables, the “unpredictable happenings” as the playing of others – the listening – the alternative ideas we can respond to and should. They are pathways that lead to doors that lead to new experiences, which in turn leads to new goals and new dreams. For each journey leads to a discovery of sorts. Life is motion. Nothing can stay the same when motion is in play. Not really, even if we want it to. Our dreams become but the structure, the framework in which we move – pushing and pulling – deviating from, and to come home to (often as changed people). It is only a guide. A place to start from, with the knowledge that we are in collaboration with life, and through this improvisational conversation we can end up absolutely anywhere.

Love Luna

A SENSE OF PURPOSE

I have been a full-time singer-songwriter since 2011. Before then I always juggled my music career with other jobs. I remember all the times people asked me what my real job is. This question would always make me uncomfortable. It made me feel that being a musician or a singer-songwriter is not really a legitimate job. Something I should let go of at some stage when I finally grow up and face reality. It made me question my value as a contributor to society. And to be honest I think it affected me, my music, and my journey in the music industry. I cared way too much what other people thought. After years of performing and releasing music I finally understand the value of what I do – not only the value it adds to my own life, but also to those of others. The journey to this point was long and hard, filled with many obstacles and frustrations – and believe me – a good dose of judgment from others – even friends, colleagues and family. Covid came, and suddenly all I have been working and fighting for came to a standstill.

It was like the roof of my house was ripped off. I had to look for another job again. I am grateful for that job, make no mistake. And I am enjoying it and learning a lot – about myself and my capabilities outside of the music world. Thankfully, it also forced me to (for the first time) really understand what music is to me. It is purpose. It is a reason to get up. It is release. A kinder world in which to process everything I experience, make sense of it, and let go of what does not serve me. This creative process helps me create something that others can connect with because it acknowledges and expresses their experiences too – things they don’t necessarily have the tools to express themselves. Let’s face it – we all look for ourselves in art. That is why we appreciate it. It mirrors us. It says what we can’t. It is us in relation to the world. Sometimes it even helps us see things in a new light.

Once I got over the panic of not being able to perform, I decided it was time to start loving what I do again. Simply. Like someone who just started out. Ignorant of the industry rules, politics and its prescriptive opinions. I realized that my relationship to my work is essential in the success of it -and the impact it can have. I must be 100% invested in what I do, and I need to trust my own creative instinct and choices.

And here comes my new music. A new and changed me, after the end of a relationship, turning 40, 22 years in the music industry, career successes, failures, ups and downs. After being angry, doubting myself, acknowledging fear of rejection and trust issues, letting go of people and life habits that don’t serve me, confronting myself, my faults and weaknesses – and accepting that things that happen have an impact, and that I should not be afraid of letting that show in my music. Some of us create musical spaces wherein people can escape from reality. We do need light material when things get hard. Others create spaces wherein people can reflect on reality. I believe we are in a time where we need to stand up for what we believe in. The time of escaping and avoiding is over.

In my first music release I am expressing matters of the heart – dark and light. I decided to keep a balance between the easy and not-so-easy material. I am landing softly. But I am planning to bring in some serious topics in my next release – songs in which I express my feelings about all that we have been confronted with over the last couple of months. Inequality. Conflict. Fear. Anger. Uprisings. Political power shifts and changes. Loss. A sense of urgency – of needing to unite and stand up for what we want: work, economic stability, peace, love, equality, justice, freedom to be who we are, acceptance, tolerance, an opportunity to grow.

The last year and a half have been hard, it’s been real, and I believe necessary to catapult us into the change this world needs to see. Things are not going to change overnight. But if we want it, we are going to have to step up and start instigating it. I guess internal change is a good place to start before we get our hands dirty (in a good way of course), stop shouting comments from the side lines, and become active agents of change in our communities. The arts have always been a powerful catalyst in times of change. I am happy to be a part of this community during this period in human history. I am ready to embrace my purpose. Thanks for being here, for being a part of my journey and allowing me to be a part of yours. I hope you enjoy season 1 (Behold, My Heart), and I look forward to sharing the next season in this music series with you! Feel free to comment and share your thoughts with me. I would love to hear your stories, your experiences, and ideas on how we can start making a difference in these turbulent times.

Love Luna